Last Minute Psych Love presents Rockapocalypse, featuring Kitchen Witch (SA), Machetez, Two Headed Dog and Non.

The Rockapocalypse is nigh, behold the four horsemen bearing riffs and grooves to sunder our winter souls into the nothingness from whence they came.

The last thing you will experience before this universe dies in the fires of oblivion will be the ritual of the Kitchen Witch, blessing all present into atom-by-atom destruction. Desert grooves and immense wall-of-sound riffs provide the cauldron into which The Witch herself, Georgie Cosson deconstructs her soul for your eternal sustenance. And in the moments before you transcend, you will be glad to have experienced one of the most emotive and entrancing vocal performances in all of stoner rock-dom.

Self-proclaimed post-stoner, pre-apocalypse priests, Machetez will surgically divide the audience into those you will burn forever and those who will live on in eternal paradise. This power-trio bastard child of Planet of the 8s and El Colosso will serve a melange of stylistic abominations from stoner through to punk/metal -  these are the sonic implements of your torture and your pleasure. Riff sacrilege for non-believers.

You know instinctively that it is only natural to debase yourself and embrace all of your animal instincts before the fire of your being is extinguished. And it is Two Headed Dog who will unbutton the fly on the torn and tattered denim of your life with rough-but-consensual abandon. Their seventies swagger and groove will leave you panting for more, with drummer/vocalist Andy Alkemade leading a lascivious lecture on the importance in these end-times of locking up your daughters, sons, brothers and sisters - hell, the whole family… for real.

Your doom will commence in the only appropriate way: negation by name, destruction by force, Non will cleanse your being of everything superfluous to your journey into the great unknown. Devastatingly heavy, the slow building fires of groove and riffage will be engorged by the gasoline-laden breath of this Holy Trinity of Nothingness. You will dance and drink freely of the embers as we begin the burning of it all.

*Actual dying not required.

#AI could never have written this.